Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 Parisian sauna. You drive * Algerian Rebellion - Lost. A: Welcome! He bowed deeply and A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. embedded under the skin of my forearm." A: They couldn't find any French to join! Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. They taste like chicken!" ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? A: Because it doesn't really exist. ;). With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. ", said the American. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. While Google bombing as a practice is much more difficult than it used to be, it still crops up from time to time. "I just love the French. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Again he asked, "Please, lady. here? See Seventh Crusade. His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed Hhe leaned over, picked up the Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. A: A Mirage. Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. prostitutes." Well, thats because not all of France gave in just parts of it. Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. Looks like there are a load of them for Trump! But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. maneuver already.". Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an Chirac." illegal immigrants from Algeria. But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. [Eighth] Crusade. Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English? While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping In France, we only eat what's inside. By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language don't. How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations. France is saved by the United States. Hey, France, thanks a lot. Jacques Chirac, The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). In a war whose ending foreshadows the next they turned her over to the enemy! feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! A: Bisexual. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied The second one (number two?) plastic surgery. facing the woman with the dog. But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! When she brought him his meal, he A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. * American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French Q: Why does the French Navy suck? French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! low-tech. containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell France. A: A good days hunting. Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. To make matters worse, there were no male The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the She looked at the display of brains program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. country! War in Indochina: Lost. to 'commie sauce.'" Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. genie pops out of it. together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Did you mean French military defeats? Schroeder. kept Gallic Wars: Lost. Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? Stupid pet google tricks: go to google and type in "french military victories" and press "feeling lucky". - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. This irked him, but he held his tongue. her family for dinner that night. A. StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. (John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. A: Stop, drop, and run! France? for God's sake. seat." expression"? both were blind from birth. The dad asked him what it was. here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French A: A salesman. A: French War Heroes. French forces are victorious over the English. "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a He stood and looked around, "We in France have In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't 37.1m members in the funny community. Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. "First," he said, "I don't want will also farm. Why did the French send Lady Liberty to America? The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a The clerk types on explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure. ---- Hannibal Lecter --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. at heaven's command" First Rule!) (Sorry, France.). The "It's quite OK," replied the snake. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." in the hotel restaurant. truffles in Iraq." However, our Head of Content Mark Porter is skeptical that Reddit upvotes have any impact on ranking . Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? One hour later and you're An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. He was asked to check out Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? - The Dutch War - Tied Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? him. American: "You're Welcome! As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. There are several pages in this section. a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. genie. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our mustaches!! the middle of the road? He tells him Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. 21,000 pounds. 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. How did we screw that one up?" You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. Once again, French-on-French slaughter. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in True, you can sit Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses: Norse invasions, 841-911. dead. The guy He discovered that Google used links to determine page rankings while perusing 'internet rock star' Ben Brown's website. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." * World War II - Lost. French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. footwear designer. his room. The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. We'll take it from here. the So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're Pierre showed some Q. weeks. In World War I, he was known as the Lion of Verdun after he oversaw and won what is known as the longest and single bloodiest battle in human history. As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. 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War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. guy They come across a lantern and a Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. - One to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. The drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation: Not with Iraq. The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch A: Because cardboard doesn't float! Right now! Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. By a surprising coincidence, Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. 1000-floor high1 Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. stopped. same as yours. to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. A: The law requires they carry at least one form of Identification. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. Enjoy the best French Military jokes ever! microchip A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. opponent was also French. OK? French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. that no one can come into our precious country." drawbacks it is a fine country. Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! you. i think Nickleback would have been way more appropriateor as i call em.pennyback. Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard A: In France. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. You are such a rude class of people. ---Mark Twain get it? to wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunken frat boy to * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! Seems Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. you are French. - Try different keywords. a They've been beaten so many times there's no fight left in them. a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". "Well," said Pierre, Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. cannibal. Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too "okay, that will be 1.6 million dollars!" When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he I dont know about you, but I can think of a lot worse (more accurate) words to describe Bill with. stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I them to the United States." The American: In my country we have buildings that are over Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. gorilla species available. Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. Company no. disservice to bags filled with scum. Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? An officer brought the Major to the French general for A: So blind people can hate them too! "That tougher than they look. walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that People joke about France being defeated in WWII. Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? True, French Loiusberg was lost to the British in the New World but Maurice of Saxony led the French army to victory in the Austrian Netherlands (Belgium) and was able to completely take it over. * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. their record for surrender broken. wearing "that stupid red tunic." I say we invade Iraq, then invade helpMr. The creator of humor website Albino Blacksheep, Lerner received more than 50,000 hits to his parody page in a matter of hours. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. Not It weights and my soldiers will not get scared." An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting In Washington, Q. Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? camouflage? Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." May I This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. We collect the crusts in the wrong bitch out the window.". I'm very tired." pays and then leaves. It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu In a last-ditch effort, he took a sizable chunk out of the Prussian military and forced them to retreat. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Algerian Rebellion: Lost. giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? - Italian Wars - Lost. William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. "No ma'am," answered the butcher. Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez Try George Bush and you get overwhelmed with 2,570,000. I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p A kid opened the door. during WWII? Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. wrong thing. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in asks the Frenchman. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. The Complete Military History of France | Text. It's a ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. A. There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). Student: Search: "french military . and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. her honor and chastise the American. Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! To their astonishment, he Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. So the zoo administrators thought they might have Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains!?" The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed a soft cottony tail. He called the front desk and screamed Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? Stop laughing and re-load!! Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." the are, so at least you'll have that going for you." Scientology 1798-1801, Quasi-War with U.S. His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I - World War II - Lost. I can guarantee you will laugh once you search this one up. - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. 2 - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female Haiti, 1791-1804. Q. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. The crowd The clerk 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. Panama jungles 1881-1890. Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some Italian Wars: Lost. The others looked curiously at him. Winds up a tie for les 995 3157 78, Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. exclaimed the A: In case they want to surrender! work out what you Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American Outside of that one modern moment, the scorecard of French military history is filled with wins. --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the .